“What did the Catholic Church ever do to you?

Mirror from “The Devil of Kansas” Facebook page post by the Satanic Grotto‘s leader Michael Stewart:

6 days until I’m arrested for being a Satanist and practicing my first amendment rights. Please share.

(Trigger warning, SA)

So today I decided I would do something special, I have three very distinct memories of the Catholic Church in my life. Let’s start with the most recent.

The Catholic Church and the state of Kansas have recently colluded. They have tried to try to silence the voice of my organization and by extension all other voices in dissent of the Catholic Church. On Tuesday the archdiocese of Kansas City Kansas served the Grotto and myself a summons on the accusation of stolen crackers. This itself would be absolutely hilarious if it wasn’t so terrifying.

The House and the Senate changed rules and laws to try to oust us from being able to hold our religious service. Both betting they could be sneaky and the Catholic Church could win a quick lawsuit against us without even notifying us they were doing it. This was a strong arm attack to try and destroy our group if one fail swoop. Luckily the devil has sharp ears and long arms and we smashed that lawsuit. The Catholic Church got a bare ass spanking by The Satanic Grotto Thursday morning. Sending the Kansas Catholic Conference back to Senate president Ty Masterson, with their head bowed in defeat.

The second biggest memory I have was a couple years ago counter protesting in front of Planned Parenthood. We had become very adept at distracting and the irritating our opponents. Several times we caused the Catholic groups at Planned Parenthood such unease that it was palpable. Eventually the Catholic Church sent a monk from a cloister in Oklahoma to see if members of the Grotto including myself were possessed by Satan. That monk found out very shortly he could not spin our heads around with his prayers, We did not vomit in response to his holy commandments. Very surreal day.

The oldest memory I have of the Catholic Church would be when I was about 8 or 9 years old. I’d finally gathered the courage to tell my mother that our stepfather had been molesting my sisters and I for a few years. A close friend of my mother’s down the street was Catholic and we had been flirting with attending their church. My mother sat out advice from that priest. That priest told my mother not to report our abuser, because family was built on having a man charge. To remove the only father figure in our lives would be to destroy the family. We kept being abused for several years after that, physically, emotionally, and sexually.

So while a priest didn’t directly sexually assault me, he sure did give permission for the man that was to keep going. So when someone asked me what is Catholicism ever done to you? I tend to reflect on these moments.

HAIL SATAN